Kairne stood at the edge of Mount Hyjal. His axe lay by his feet. In his stomach burned an acrid mix of emotion: of shame, of regret, of loneliness and loss. Though this warrior carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, he was not empty. For he had once loved. He had once belonged. He had once been held dear by a group of friends, enclosed within the hallowed circles of the greatest guild Ahn’Qiraj had ever known. Though it was now barely visible underneath his tattered flesh, behind his broken eyes, the soul of Kairne still bore the mark: this man was once a Bruce. A tear ran down his face, and fell into the abyss. He took a step forward…

He awoke to the sound of the sea lapping against sand. Confused, bewildered, he rubbed his eyes and sat up. He was on a tiny island, Azeroth a distant mass through the mist. Beside him lay his axe, his shield and a scroll of parchment. He reached forward, unrolled it and began to read.

We have not forgotten you, Kairne. We would not let you die. But a man who closes the door to his family should not be surprised to find it bolted on his return. The Gods of the Bruces will not place their faith in you again until your commitment has been put to the test.

And so began the Trials of Kairne.

The Trial of Boosting
The dungeons of Azeroth are dangerous indeed, and many a brave adventurer has been lost inside their depths. You must guide five low level Bruces or Bruce alts through five instances, so that they might gain the weapons and armour they need to face their enemies. A screenshot must be provided of each final encounter - your judge will be Henchick, God of Meatshields.

The Trial of the Turtle
For years, the Horde and the Alliance have fought for the land at Warsong Gulch. The Gods of the Bruces have never understood the point of this, as the only natural resource present appears to be flags. With this in mind, you must provide the weary soldiers of the Gulch with a rest from their struggle, by prolonging a match for no less than 90 minutes. A screenshot must be provided of the final scoresheet, and screenshots of abuse received from fellow Horde will also be appreciated. Drummerhero, God of Being a Bastard, will be your judge.

The Trial of Cocks
Cocks are everywhere, but only a few have the skills to find them. Inspired by the terrible news post directly below this one, you must find three environmental cocks located somewhere within the World of Warcraft. Screenshots will be judged by Vario, God of Trousers.

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Click the comment link, you can’t see nuffin on this screen. Stupid lousy front page.

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