The wonderful world of search @ Rollzero - Part 2

News Bot · Live from the BBC Joined: 01 Dec 2006 Posts: 204

The second and what will be final part of the joy of keywords @ Rollzero, and I hope you’ll agree this is one sequel better than the original. As before, any terms in bold-italics are 100% real search terms someone has entered into Google then found Rollzero.

Last time we left Rollzero dispensing medical advice, and that was before we’d even considered heartburn after heavy drinking (that’ll be the sheep love-juice called Gaviscon you need) or what could possibly be the side effects from drinking too much lemonade. Umm, you mean apart from belching? Now I’ll admit I’m rushing this article because I want to get back to my erotic fight videogame but we must subtly move from medical to emotional advice...

Picture the scene; you’re having fun, playing a selection of board games. You’re not great at them, but you’re joining in the fun. Then, someone says, let’s play Connect 4! “Great!” you exclaim, but your eyes paint a picture of fear. You’ve never won at Connect 4. Even the blind kid beat you that time. You’ve lost the first game, quickly followed by the second. It goes on, and on, oh the shame even the cat just beat you! With the mocking still ringing in your ears you skulk off to your computer, and ponder... are you stupid if you can't play connect four. The answer of course, is yes. Yes you are. As our brave loser sits considering this, we wonder if he also takes time to look at his phone and realise that my nokia phone is awful. Our user’s day isn’t going too well and indeed things now start to take a more sinister turn. We can only hope these keywords are unconnected randomness from around the world, because someone then goes on to ask where to by blu-tac. What’s wrong with that? Nothing, until you consider someone entered blu tack related deaths. A sinister plot is afoot! These Connect 4 bullies won’t stand a chance against blu-tac!

Now as we leave this disturbed user we delve deeper into the underworld, and enter the realm of a complete and utter criminal genius! I mean, Google knows everything, so surely it would know how to hide small bags of heroin at airport check-in. The great thing about this hapless would-be criminal is that he went on to browse a lot of the site and spent ages looking around. It’s good to know would-be drug smugglers still like to have a bit of a giggle too. I think.

That about sums it all up. I’ll leave you now as I work out what makes your ears go closer to your head. So I guess maybe Prince Charles has read the site too.

Aakarp · Posted: Mon May 25, 2009 4:11 pm Post subject:

Haha! This made working late a little less painful.
Thanks!
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McKarp
Yarrkarping!
Nevermore

username_taken · Mini Death Star Joined: 03 Sep 2007 Posts: 1234

Noxious · Posted: Mon May 25, 2009 6:09 pm Post subject:

Comedy gold! Loved the conclussion Love

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Real men wear pants on their head.

Pixelsmith · Posted: Mon May 25, 2009 9:53 pm Post subject:

That's ace! Best bit is the guy who wanted to smuggle heroin and then looked around the site. I've been trying to break the smack mule demographic for years.

username_taken · Mini Death Star Joined: 03 Sep 2007 Posts: 1234